I'm living with...
For professionalsWho is Wefight?
See all articles

Illness and sexuality: Focus on pleasure!


By : Vik

Almost 2 years ago

"It is not easy, when you are in good health, not to be influenced, stressed by the idea of ensuring in bed! Even if some people deny it, performance has a central place in sexuality!

We are bombarded with sexual injunctions oriented towards it... And it is not pornography that will say the opposite!

What exactly does it mean to be sexually successful? It's the idea that there is an objective of performance, like in sports! To be the best! To give a maximum of pleasure to the other! Make love more, longer, more, more... Where is the pleasure if we stay focused on the idea of being the best? Moreover, when the chronic disease is present, then this weight can be too much to bear. 

But what if performance wasn't the key to a fulfilling sexuality! What if the primary goal of sex was pleasure!

Sexual pleasure goes far beyond the notion of performance, beyond penetration and orgasm (which is however the maximum pleasure we can feel)!

Sexual pleasure includes kisses, tenderness, caresses, exploration of the body of his or her partner, reciprocal masturbation too! This pleasure requires sharing and letting go, far from the control that performance implies. 

Some tips to direct your sexuality towards pleasure and not performance: 

➡️ Forget what we hear about sexuality: "the longer, the better"; "penetration is mandatory during sex"; "men must maintain an erection for as long as necessary for a woman to have several orgasms"; "women are more satisfied if they have several orgasms during sex"

➡️ Share with your partner your desires, how you truly get pleasure, your fantasies, what you would like to try. Of course, it is interesting that your partner also shares these notions with you.

➡️ Change sexual habits, stimulate erotic imagination, boost sexual excitement by imagining, as a couple, a sexual scenario that you will put in place by abandoning yourself to pleasure.

➡️ The practice of sexting can also be interesting! Sending each other naughty text messages, allows you to build up the excitement before meeting up! The longer the sexual excitement is present, the more pleasure will be had during sex."

Sebastien Landry

All the articles


What to do when the disease does not take a vacation?

Who said that chronic illness and vacations were incompatible! In this article, Camille Vorain shares 4 tips to make your vacation as easy as possible.


There is no such thing as a small victory when you are a patient

How to continue making plans despite the disease? This is the question that psycho-oncologist Giacomo Di Falco answers in this article!


Preserving your relationship when living with a disease

Living with a disease can be a strain on both partners in a relationship. Here are a few tips to avoid falling into traps that could harm the longevity of your relationship.


Asthma: 4 tips for a better life during the winter

Winter is here and the air is dry and cold: a known trigger for asthma attacks. Meet Aurélien, Doctor of Pharmacy and medical product manager for asthma. In this article, he shares his tips on how to cope during winter with your asthma. 


How to better apprehend Blue Monday?

Blue Monday is knownto be the most depressing day of the year. Although this idea has no scientific basis, it is true that at this time of year we lack light, it is often cold, and moreover the month of January seems like a “full of Mondays” month. 


Conscious walking: recharge your energy while walking

In this article, Eleonore, a chronically ill cancer patient, introduces you to the practice of conscious walking (also called Afghan walk) and its health benefits.