Preserving your relationship when living with a disease
By : Vik
8 months ago
Patient or not, you are both in the same boat.
One of you is ill, and sometimes that makes the other one the “care giver”. But you are both going through this together. When one person goes through something difficult, it affects the other! There is often a new balance to be found between the two of you, because habits have changed compared to the life you had together before the disease. However, it can also be seized as an opportunity to do things you've never done before!
The road to hell is paved with good intentions!
You may try to protect the other person from your anxieties; and that is understandable! But you must also understand that this attitude will very quickly interfere with communication in your relationship which could lead to conflict. We end up not saying anything to each other, remaining with our interpretations, which leads to misunderstandings. We are not in our partner’s mind and can’t read their thoughts! We can also imagine that if the other person shares nothing with us, or only banalities, it's because they hold a grudge against us, or worse! It would be a pity to damage the relationship at a time when it’s better to stay close-knit.
Taking care of your relationship is also taking care of yourself
It is a very good thing to allow time for each other as a couple. But it is just as important to learn to recognise your limits as an individual! You need to prioritise taking time out for yourself when necessary: going to a movie, or having a good massage, walking outside to recharge your batteries. It’s important to spend quality time with yourself so you have something brand new to bring to the relationship when you come back! It would therefore be pointless and even energy-consuming to feel guilty about putting time aside for yourself.
Giacomo.
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